Saturday. I love Saturday. Getting up at six in the morning, stumbling out to the kitchen for vitamins and orange juice, into the living room for iron stomach Qi Gong and a few other things so that I can start feeling my body in this big busy thing called life which, apparently, is a hologram from another dimension. Yeah, we have to depend on a bunch of assholes from another dimension to find world peace and a cure for cancer.
And they’re the ones depriving me of that brand new Lambi.
Yep, Saturday. Pills and orange juice and into the home office to Photoshop some of the hundreds of pictures I took on Friday when I was a god. With a Camera. And a Jimmy. And, of course, they’re all HDR. Three times the work. But it’s kinda fun. I get to swear a lot, scratch my head, stare at my belly button waiting for images to merge..all kinds of fun stuff. But when it’s done, I always have those one or two gems that started off ho hum, but ended up making me think, “Biff, you really can take pictures.”
Today I wanted to do a portrait. But something different. A friend of mine, Keri, is thinking about renting studio space in the same building where I share a studio with three crazy artists. So she wanted to run some ideas by me. I said, “Sure, but you have to let me do your portrait.” Surprisingly, she agreed. Most people tell me to go to hell.
Well, she had to take one of her dogs for a walk in a nearby park. I thought that would be a cool location for the shoot. So we were walking along talking about the studio space and how a lot of artists seem to be opening studios in that part of town. There’s never been a lot of concentrated studios in Freddie Beach…a lot of galleries on the East side, but the studios have always been spread everywhere. That’s changing. I find this exciting.
So…we come to this wide grassy area surrounded by trees. There was even the sound of a stream gurgling away to the left. It was almost like being a thousand miles from the city. And then we saw it.
Almost dead center on a little rise in the sprawling grass was a little white chair in the woods.
Just sitting there. Nobody around. This little white children’s chair.
Keri sat in the chair with the dog beside her and I managed to get a few shots before this very large and very angry fairy stomped out the woods saying, “Get the hell out of my chair! What the hell do you think this is…some kind of park?”
I would have taken a picture but I wasn’t sure if my lens could handle all that fury.
Lesson learned: Stay away from little white chairs in the woods. The next one could be a troll.