Searching for Peace (back to a matter of energy)


So, I let all the energy in the world into me, which of course, meant letting the whole damn world in, which is kind of a scary thing when you think about all the weirdoes out there…the murderers, religious fanatics, dictators, the uncaring, the cruel and the helpless…and that’s just the people. Spiders…out there. Big ones that bite. And tornadoes and earthquakes. And I was letting all this into me and so much more, but…

All I felt was an immense calm.

“Maybe you just never came down from that acid trip, Biff,” said the fox.

“You, fox,” I said, “you could start a whole new tradition with foxes.”

“What’s that, Biff?” said the fox.

“Hibernating foxes,” I said.

Back to the energy. I half expected to be physically, spiritually and emotionally shredded. I mean…spiders. Big ones. So I wondered about this…all that turbulence, all that ebb and flow like a living pulse on the surface of the planet (not to mention one helluva hot magnet at the core of it all). But maybe it was all that diametrically opposed energy where a seed planted lovingly here cancels out a tree bulldozed with indifference there that balances everything out into a universal equilibrium and creates an awareness of everything at once…and it’s calm.

“Looks like you might have found peace, Biff,” said the fox.

“No, fox, not even close,” I said. “Just a thought…but…shouldn’t you be foraging or something?”

“I’m not a squirrel, Biff,” said the fox.

“Just asking,” I said.

Energy. It’s all the same. There’s no good energy or bad energy. It’s energy. It appears different though in the way we channel it, and the way we cause it to be channeled around us. The energy of a bullet tearing through a chest and shutting down everything to stop a life is the same energy flowing through a surgeon’s hands to keep the life going. This is what I was learning as all that energy flowed through me…firing up all the synapses of my brain, every cell and organ in my body, the surface of my skin and the marrow of my bones. Peace will only be possible when we learn to channel all that energy into the surgeon’s hands. But why can’t we do this? I thought as I felt the energy of a legion of bullets tearing through flesh and bone faster than all the surgeons in the world could repair the damage. I felt babies being born into loving hands, and wrinkled faces staring into empty days as they waited for angels to carry them away. I felt dandelions growing out of cracks in pavement in spite of every effort to pave the life out of the earth. I felt magic and disbelief, wonder and the rumblings of a thousand thousand empty stomachs stretching into the first neutron to take a joy ride around an atom and the last photon to flicker out in the final depletion of all energy. But I didn’t feel an answer to why we can’t channel all this energy into peace. I felt calm, but I didn’t feel peace. I didn’t feel it in the signs of protesters begging for the world to listen to reason. I didn’t feel it in all the waves washing sand castles off the shores of the world.

But I knew it was there. Somewhere. So I let the calmness of everything that was right and everything that was wrong in the world tickle my innards for a few more minutes and then booted it out at about the same time I noticed that I was upside down, balancing on my head in a lotus position with people screaming all around me and flames and smoke filling the air with terror.

“So the energy thing didn’t work, Biff?” said the fox.

“Naw…didn’t think it would,” I said. “Cool feeling though. Where is this place and what’s going on here?”

“Someplace in India, I think,” said the fox. “A long time ago.”

(To be continued. In India.)

“What are you smirking at, fox?” I said.

“How about hibernating humans? Might make peace a little easier to find.”

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