I’m so glad for the death threats a few of months ago. Without them, I would have been in some pretty deep shit a couple of months ago. I wouldn’t have been ready for this. I would have made a complete idiot of myself (and I don’t need any more of that). I would have failed miserably and hopelessly. I would have had to spend the rest of my life under my bed with an empty bottle of wine, crying.
But thanks to the promises of my unscheduled departure from this world if I didn’t do this at the end of the summer, I had time to do it right…and work out the 224,434,533.05 bugs that somehow crept into the very texture of the project. Things like font and formatting problems across platforms, sizing for devices, figuring out an efficient way to deliver the episodes…
It was a lot, but I won’t get into that now. The first episode is up and was ready for everybody’s Sunday coffee break and that’s what I’m going to do for the next two and a half months…make sure each episode is up and ready for everybody’s coffee break, seven days a week, because we all drink coffee on the weekends, gallons of it, and most of it on our Sunday coffee break. Some of us go into work to do this; some of us have lost our jobs for doing this; some of us skip football to do some coffee break reading; some of us lead normal lives and haven’t read this far…
This is my promise, short of death by dismemberment and other means, I will have all 72 episodes ready each day except for one period where the order of life in the novel will require a week (Sept 30 – Oct 7) for everyone to take a breather and drink tea…just for the hell of drinking tea. And I won’t lie about this…I’m nervous. I spent a lot of time building things, working up a schedule that makes sense and a process for meeting the schedule, creating graphics and freebies that might actually have meaning for some people…and, of course, I had to write a novel.
It took almost eight years to write it…and that includes a year and a half of research to work out the logistics required to make the story believable; plus, I took a few years off to study photography and get a haircut. I used the storyboard for the novel to teach the concept of storyboarding to my creative writing students…the ones who are all better writers than me and didn’t really need to take the workshop. All they needed was this advice. (https://biffmitchell.files.wordpress.com/2019/09/writeanovel.pdf) But that’s another blog.
There’re seven main characters, and their names sound a bit similar. Well, maybe a lot similar. There’s a reason for this but I’m not going to tell you what it is because I don’t want to give away something that will make your skin crawl. It’ll all be revealed in time but, in the meantime, it might be a good idea to download the printable one page character guide.
BTW, if you want to read the novel on your cell phone, you can read each episode in PDF form from the Welcome Page.
Today is Sunday. At exactly nine o’clock, I sipped a Columbian coffee I made with my French press from freshly ground beans and read the world’s first free daily coffee break novel. And I can hardly wait for the second episode…when things loosen up a bit and the humor kicks in.
(BTW, I’ll be posting each episode sometime between 6 and midnight each day.)