The Weekly Man’s First Fake Interview


Mr. World News: So, Biff, how did the first week of your free daily serialized coffee break novel go?

Biff: It went well, Mr. News. I only lost half my usual readers.

Mr. World News: Half? That’s horrible.

Biff: Tell me about it. Now I have just one reader.

Mr. World News: And what are your plans now?

Biff: I’m going to get that reader back. I may have to send money…or maybe I could just learn how to write. That can’t be too hard.

Mr. World News: No, uh, that should be…(looks at schedule)…you are Biff Mitchell, right?

Biff: Did you want the evil one or the nice one?

Mr. World News: (looking confused) I was hoping for the…uh…nice one, I guess.

Biff: Great. That would be me. Are you one of my readers? Are you the one who stopped reading?

Mr. World News: (looking uncomfortable, about ready to run) Um…back to the first week. What was that first week like, Biff?

Biff: (gets faraway look in eyes) Let me see. It was…hell. Pure hell. It rained every day. I posted a bad link and one of my readers (the one that stayed) sent me a death threat with a graphic description of what will happen to me if I screw up again. MS Word caused massive format changes of an evil manner in WordPress. My iMac died just when I needed it the most and needs a few hundred dollars worth of repairs, but I have a MacBook, so the posts went on. Other than pure bloody hell…things went well.

Mr. World News: (eyes glazed) It…it sounds like…an interesting first week.

Biff: And there are only 9 more weeks to go. I think I’ll jump off a bridge tonight.

Mr. World News: (looking around to ensure there are no bridges close by) Is it true that you have two versions of the novel?

Biff: Yep. It looks fine on my blog if you’re on a desktop or laptop. But it looks like shit on a phone. I know this for certain. I saw it on my iPhone and immediately sent myself a death threat. So I put together a cell phone friendly site.

Mr. World News: It certainly sounds like a lot of work, Biff. How do you manage it?

Biff: Awakeness

Mr. World News: Awakeness?

Biff: Yes, I wake up each day and do things.

Mr. World News: Um…uh…yes. That’s very interesting, Biff. Good wholesome advice. (hands Biff the microphone and runs over a hill and into the setting sun)

Biff: (looking at mike in hand) I wonder…was he that other reader?

(NOTE: You can start reading The Weekly Man at any time. All the episodes published so far are at the welcome screen.)

1 thought on “The Weekly Man’s First Fake Interview

  1. Pingback: Episode 10: Tuesday – Jackson | The Weekly Man

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