And I’m glad I did it.
At times it was a real pain in the ass. You know, living life and still trying to get that one (or more) picture. Going to work, teaching writing workshops, spending time with friends, writing, taking pictures…and a whole bunch of other shit…like…life.
This was one of the most emotionally charged periods of my life. In fact, I even had a satori. And I picked a path from it. It’s a path that’s going to mean a lot of changes in my life. But, I’m an army brat. I’m used to that.
I’ve been going through my collection of books and trying to price them for a flea market sale. I’ve priced one of them at five million dollars. I think I’ll keep that one. And the one I priced at three million dollars.
Satori or not. There’re some things you just can’t shed. Because they’re you. And they’re everything you are now.
So, I think I’ll hang on to those ones.
We are so much from what we read.
And this is why I’m going to get back to my writing. As a writer, you are what you write. I’ve always known that. But I needed a break from that, and now the break is over. It’s even worse than the photo challenge. It’s writing every day for…maybe a year, or two, or three…whatever it takes to do it…and finish it. Back to life with words and coffee.
These are things we have to deal with if we’re going to be artists…and I mean that in the largest of senses. I met a hippie guy on one of my hippie tours back when I had hair down to my ass, and he said, “My life is a continous work of art.” I forget what kind of acid I was on that day, but I thought that was a pretty damn cool approach to life. And it really didn’t matter that he was saying that shit just to get chicks…he inadvertently made sense.
Each day, our lives are a work of art. It’s a massive canvas, a block of rock, a sentence on fire….and we are the engineers, the artists…the architects of our lives. Whatever we decide to do, to say, or to be on each of those days…is who and what we are each moment of that day. It’s everything we’ve ever been rolled up into a daily decision.
This holds interesting possibilities for the future. It means we can plan to be who and what we want to be, if only for a week ahead…that can turn into months, into years, into a lifetime. Here’s what I’m doing…
I’m going to decide what I’m going to decide on for the next week…and put that decision in my scheduler. Each decision will be something I’ve been putting off, or never thought I could do, or a risk, a dare to myself. It’s going to be all those people I’ve been in the past taunting me and saying, “Yeah, sure, Biff.”
“What dimension did you just slip into, Biff?” said the fox.
But we’ll just ignore the fox for now. So, both of you, if you’re ever in Freddie Beach and you see some bald guy doing crazy things with a fox keeping a close eye on him…that won’t be me. I won’t be doing crazy things…I’ll be building the next me. And the next. And the next. One planned decision at a time.
You know…I hate winter. I really do. It’s cold, dark, slippery, wet…and full of this stuff you have to shovel, wipe off your car, keep off your camera lens and try to run through without breaking a leg. So…I’m going to make a month long decision right now. I’m going to do this photo challenge thing again…
After the challenge this one was with relatively mild weather…I’m sure February will be one of the biggest challenges of my life. Snow. I hate snow.
But I just made today’s decision, and once you’ve been satori’d, there’s no backing out.
Now, about that picture that you were guessing at. No, it’s not a giant mushroom even though it sure as hell looks like one. Here’s a clearer picture…
It’s a tree on a church yard. Wood workers use these to make bowls. It’s called something like “knurl.” Something like that. The picture’s mis-focused, but I was getting snow and sleet and rain my lens.
(By the way, that hippie guy didn’t get laid. He got really high and started raving about the Americans in Vietnam bringing world peace. I don’t know what dimension he’d slipped into, but everyone quietly wandered back to their tents and left him out there ranting around the campfire.)